When I set upon my word for the year, I knew that becoming WHOLE was not going to be easy. In fact, I knew it would take me almost the entire year to get there, and that is okay. Every conscious decision I make is one step closer to where I want to be. So, just how am I doing on this journey and with the conscious decisions I make?
March was a rough month. I would have to give myself a D for failing all but one of the focus areas for the month. This is the busiest time of the year which makes things much more difficult, but that it just an excuse. It makes me wonder just how serious I am about this journey of mine when I fail so miserably.
One of the largest areas of frustration for me is the scale. I have been very good about logging all of my food into My Fitness Pal for a while now, and I stay within my calorie range almost every day. Yet, the number of the scale keeps creeping up every single week. I even went and reduced my daily target to see if perhaps the previous calorie target was too high. Nope. Still creeping up. I honestly do not know what to do at this point in time. It makes me hate the scale. It makes me hate My Fitness Pal. It makes me want to eat all of my hate. I have not done so…for the most part. (I have had my days.)
What makes it worse is the fact that I am retaining water like I have never seen since pregnant with Connor 16 years ago. I can no longer wear my rings because they just do not fit. My legs at the end of the day are bloated beyond belief. I thought it was lack of water, so I have been thoroughly upped my water intake. In fact, drinking 8 glasses of water each day is the only thing I actually did accomplish in March. It has had no impact. We’ve cooked at home almost every day in March and have seriously curtailed eating out as a result. I know my sodium intake is not extremely high. I just don’t get it.
The other area I have completely failed is at exercising. I have been working long hours and the weekends have been brutal with dance competitions. I should be offsetting all of that sitting with movement of some sort. I did move a few times throughout the month, but nowhere near where I should have been. Perhaps exercise would be the missing link in moving the scale and helping my body deflate? I just don’t know.
So, I’m frustrated and upset, bewildered and discouraged. I haven’t given up yet because I have reached the point where I do not like how I look. I detest my puffy hands and legs and miss wearing my rings. I don’t like stepping on the scale. I was thinking I could do this on my own, that I could do this without the need for extreme behavior – detoxes and fad diets – but the water retention has me baffled. So does the scale. I have to keep reminding myself that Rome was not built in a day. This is a journey, and apparently I have hit a speed bump.
How did you do last month?
If you’re retaining that much water and gaining weight while watching your diet, I would talk to your doctor. Certainly exercise might help but you still shouldn’t be gaining weight.
That is definitely in the plan. Unfortunately, thanks to Jim’s new job, we are going to be switching healthcare services in a few more weeks so I do not want to start anything right now. If I am still doing this in a month, I will definitely be making an appointment!
That was pretty much my life for the last two years in terms of my scale. It was awful. I hope you find your answers. There’s got to be a reason you’re gaining like that, when you’re doing all the other things right, and it DOES sound like you are. I wish you all the best Michelle and if you ever want to talk, you’re welcome to email me. *hugs*
Thanks, Amanda! Once we get our new insurance cards next month, I am going to do some investigating and find a new doctor. It’s time for some help. Do you see an internist or a GP or someone else?
That sounds incredibly frustrating. I know exercise falls by the wayside for me too during crazy seasons.
I don’t know anything about health or medicine, but have you ever gotten your thyroid tested? I know someone in my family who has so frustrated that she was eating well and not losing any weight. It turned out to be a thyroid issue.
I hope April is better for you!!
I have had my thyroid tested. My doctor initially thought that was the cause of my depression, so I just had it retested. I will give it another month or so and hit the doctor up again should the issue not resolve itself.
You are doing everything right, and the water retention is puzzling. I don’t know much about it (other than increasing ater intake, which you’re doing), but I’m wondering if there’s other things going on that you need to have checked that may be causing it? This may be TMI, but I’ve been experiencing major bloat and other woman issues that caused me to see an OBGYN and start the process of having an Ablation. My doctor thinks my issues are causing the bloat and I’m hoping this will resolve it. I feel crampy and bloated and miserable most of the month, and it sucks! I’m just wondering if you need to bring it up to a doctor, because you are doing everything else right! I understand how discouraging it is, and I hate that you’re feeling this way.
You are doing a great job with it all, you need to give yourself some more credit! It’s not easy to focus on eating right, and you’re so busy that I don’t know how you’d even find time for exercise right now. You are doing the best you can – and that’s enough!
We are changing insurance as of May 1 thanks to Jim’s new job, so I am waiting until that settles before I consider the doctor route. If this keeps up, I will definitely need to seek medical help.
🙁 I’m so sorry to hear that you’ve been having a rough go this month.
I’ve no idea what’s going on with the scale and can imagine how frustrating it must be to be trying so hard and still not see improvement, but it’s also good to remember that the scale numbers are just one (relatively unimportant) factor to your overall health and well-being.
Honestly, I think you’re being way too hard on yourself (coming from someone who’s also her own biggest critic). You have such a full and busy life and are so committed to doing right by your work and your family. I know that your journey here is about *you*, but you aren’t in a vacuum, you know? There are going to be ups and downs along this path and being honest and reflective will help keep you on track, but I would never say that you aren’t dedicated to it.
Whew, long comment!
Thanks, Shaina! I really do appreciate the support. Sometimes, I get caught in a negative cycle in my head and need friends to knock me out of it!
We all need that sometimes! 🙂
Yes, we do.