Happy 2016! Boy, am I glad to see you! Not that 2015 was a bad year; in fact, it was an excellent year with promotions and travel, exciting changes, home improvements, and the like. However, 2015 left me feeling scattered, unhappy, and out of control. I am not happy with how I feel, how I look, how much I weigh, and how I am constantly waffling between so angry I can barely see to so depressed I just want to become a hermit. I am not happy with how I have let this site, my one main outlet, diminish in importance over the year. I am simply so very tired.
Things have got to change. This unhappy, angry person is not me. It is impacting my family, my friends, and my own self-worth. This is not how I want to be when I turn 40 in May. Knowing that I want 2016 to be different, it was time for me to do some major self-reflection. I started with envisioning how I want to feel in 2016. It then moved to who I want to be and how I want to act. What came out of this exercise is my word for 2016.
Such a simple word and yet, it encompasses everything I want to be in my life – mentally, physically, and spiritually healthy, complete, centered, calm, at peace. Somehow, over the years I have lost my way and have become fractured into a million different pieces that do nothing but cause friction in my mind, soul, and body. My goal for 2016 is to live my life striving to become whole again.
This goal is for every aspect of my life. I want to keep things real – on here and in my everyday life. Stay in the moment. Branch out from books all the time to show all of my other loves. Read just to read and not because of any semblance of obligation. I want to share more of my beautiful family with my friends. I want to have fun. I have always striven to make my reviews and this site as professional as possible, but I am tired of that. I am never going to be a professional blogger who makes a living salary from this, and more importantly, nor do I want to be anymore. So, expect more of an authentic voice in my reviews, cursing, and everything that makes me me. You will see me make recommendations and sharing advice on everything from makeup to finances and organization – something I never felt I was worthy of making in years past. I am going to share my strengths in all elements of my life.
I do not expect this journey to being whole to be an easy one, but then again, so very little in life that is worthwhile is easy. I will slip up and fall back into old habits. I will get frustrated and impatient. However, I will persevere. This is my birthday present to myself – becoming who I am truly meant to be.
I invite you to help me along my journey. Caution me when I am slipping. Cheer me on when things get tough. Celebrate my wins and help me forgive myself for any transgressions. After all, that’s what friends are for, right?
Did you select a word for 2016? What did you select and why? If not, what are some of your resolutions for the new year?
I think we have all been in that place and I love what you are doing about it. That frazzled feeling is the pits. I wish you all the best in your journey to find more peace, a slower pace, and true joy in your hobbies as you shed the feeling of obligation. I look forward to seeing your progress. Happy 2016!
Thanks, Steph! It is definitely going to be a slow journey, but any progress is movement in the right direction.
I’m so sorry you had such a tough year teetering between anger and depression. I was feeling that way too a few years ago when I was working full time. I didn’t like the person I was becoming. I felt like i was not fulfilling my role as mom or employee to the best of my abilities. If i was at home, i fretted about work and at work, i worried about home. Becoming a SAHM helped me refocus on my family and my own mental and physical health and I feel more whole and at peace. I wish you a wonderful year, and enjoy the journey of bringing about change in your life to become whole.
Fun! You have to have fun, girl! I hope your changes will bring more of that into your life. I can’t wait to see what you do with your blog too.
Ah, fun. I know that has been sorely lacking lately. In all aspects of my life!
I love your word, Michelle. I think it sounds like an excellent grounding point for what you want to accomplish. It’s so easy to let everything in our lives swell up to the point we feel scattered in every direction and nothing really feels, well, whole! I wish you the very best of luck this year and I’m here if you want to chat!
Thank you so much, Becca! I really appreciate your support; it means a lot.
Wonderful word and a beautiful explanation!!
Thanks for sharing.
Thank you, Elizabeth!
Michelle, this is wonderful!! You are an amazing woman, and you can do this! I’ll be here to cheer you on, and I look forward to seeing the other sides of you, the things that interest you and make you YOU. I adore you, and I know this will be your best year, yet! Hugs!
Thank you so much! You totally made me start crying here. The outpouring of love and support has been absolutely overwhelming.
This is a good birthday gift to yourself. I will try and be in your corner to cheer you and remind you. I chose Responsibility for my #OneWord. Let’s help each other!
Thanks, Tina! I am all for a one-word self-help group!
Happy New Year! It sounds like a wonderful choice for a word of 2016, and I look forward to seeing what you’re reading and loving and doing in this new year! 🙂
Thanks, Jenny! I hope it will be a great year!
Excellent word choice. I love seeing peoples words for 2016.
Thanks, Sheila! I’ve been enjoying it too.
One word. It’s a simple reminder to myself. So easy for me to leave the path, but with that one word, I feel pulled back.
I like your word.
That’s what I’m hoping. I’m tired of listing and then failing resolutions. I need something simple to encapsulate everything I want to do. I like the idea of just recalling that one word and refocusing.
I love it! What a wonderful choice, and I’m looking forward to sharing the journey with you!
I absolutely love this choice for you. An excellent birthday present to yourself. For what it’s worth turning 40 was very empowering for me and with “whole” as your word for the year I’m sure it will turn out to be the same for you.
I did choose a word for 2016 – it’s Focus and I’m looking forward to seeing where my year with that in mind will take me.
Thank you! I am looking forward to this journey, if a bit apprehensive – much like how I feel about turning 40. LOL!
Focus is another great word. I was considering Centered as my word for the longest time, so I can definitely relate to it.
Authenticity is one of the reasons I follow you on various social media and it will continue to be one of the reasons I follow you. I look forward to hearing more of your real voice here and elsewhere.
Thanks, Bryan! Michelle unfiltered can be pretty scary, IMO. I don’t take away the filter very often even on Twitter.
Michelle, I love this post. And I love your word, ‘whole’. Lots of symbolism there. I applaud your aims and think you are very wise to take some time for self-reflection and healing. I second Marce’s suggestion about yoga. I found it helpful in the past to quiet my mind. Plus there are good physical benefits. Regardless, know that I’ll be around – reading what you’d be moved to share with us. Take care of yourself, girlfriend. 2016 is your year – the ‘whole’ thing. Hugs. 🙂
P.S. I’m sharing my word on Monday.
Thanks, Kay! I’m excited and nervous about this journey. Really though, I am ready to feel better. It’s been too long.
I think your word for 2016 is perfect, and I look forward to going along with you on your journey. Happy New Year, my friend!
Thank you! It’s going to be quite the journey!
Good Luck and Best wishes for your journey this year. I like your word Whole. I focused on a word for 2016 too – Simplify. Have a great year!
Ooo, SIMPLIFY is a great word too! Thanks, Pat and Happy New Year!
Michelle, what a beautiful post. I have found that this blogging journey helps us to learn who we are. I went from enjoying and thinking getting ARC’s was the best, reading the newest etc and then it became work and reading books during hype which was not fun. Last year I joined a book club, what a let down, the worst books I have ever read and it made me realize the importance of my blog, blogging friends and networking.
Last year was about Self Care, that was pretty much my word and I went 40 also so I so get it. Be true to you, take care of you and the rest start to fall into place. You may have to learn how to say no also, that was a big one for me.
Would you be interested in trying Yoga? Look for Strala Yoga by Tara Stiles, your post reminds me of her teachings.
HUGS and Happy New Year, so exciting for the big 40, live it up.
Thanks, Marce! I agree that blogging has been a tremendous help in discovering who I am or who I want to be. I still like ARCs but I definitely want to read more of my own books more often. I have never tried to join a book club around here because I just really like reading whatever I want. Even reading ARCs are done at my own pace or on my own volition, if that makes sense. I could never go without my online friends though!
Yoga interests me, but I would want to do that at a studio for help with posture and positions. There are just no good studios around here. I am going to get back into meditation though. I was practicing that pretty regularly several years ago, and I miss how centered I felt.
I am excited about the big 4-0. I loved my 30s so much. I can only think my 40s, once I get healthy mentally and spiritually, will be just as amazing.
Yay! This is awesome and I LOVE how encompassing the word whole is. Like Shaina said, I can’t wait to see what it looks like when you let go of the things that are holding you back.
Thanks, Shannon! I hope it will be a great year for you and yours!
I’m so excited for you! I can’t wait to see more of the real you shining through here. 🙂 Happy new year!
Thanks, Shaina! I hope you like what you see!
Congratulations on a fantastic birthday present to yourself! It’s so easy to get lost with all of the obligations we have as women.
I agree. I also think recognizing this is half the battle. Thanks!
You can do it!! Day by day and even minute by minute. Xo