A lot of shit has gone down in the blogging world over the past month. I am not going to rehash it here. The key people in the main scandal know how I feel and where I stand. Suffice it to say, heated feelings reached an apex this past weekend, and Twitter blew up with finger-pointing, the blame game, and spawned some awesome discussions about the ongoing Superwoman complex that pressures women into feeling like they have to do it all.
The thing is that I just spent the last week saying good-bye to my father-in-law multiple times over. Funerals have a nasty habit of putting things into perspective in a rather abrupt manner. After four viewings, one funeral mass, and one chapel ceremony, I’ve spent a lot of time thinking and observing and thinking some more. Here’s what hit me with the brute force of a truck – all of this world is temporary. Whether you believe in God, Allah, Yahweh, reincarnation, the Greek gods, or nothing at all, life on this earth is fleeting. What matters most in this short, short life of ours is how others remember us.
You see, no one is going to remember that you wrote reviews for every single book you read. They are not going to care about how often you posted or even what you had to say on any given day. Really, the fact that you may have plagiarized a bit or didn’t finish everything you said you were going to do will never even cross one’s mind when it is all said and done. People will remember the actions rather than the words. How did you express your love of life? Of your family? Of your friends? Of your job? It will be in the random thoughtful notes you send or the selfless acts of kindness that mean nothing to you but everything to someone else that make the biggest and most long-lasting impression. It will be in the pictures you leave for posterity showing your joie de vivre. It will be in your tweets and texts and status updates on your good fortune and positive outlook. It will be in the legacy of strong values you pass down to future generations. This is how others will remember us, and this is all that matters.
I say this as a reminder not only to others but also to me that in the grand scheme of things, blogging is just a hobby. I have always espoused this idea, but I realize now that I never really lived by it. I never succumbed to pressure or felt I had to write reviews; I would let the website go silent if I had nothing to say. However, for over six years, I have never skipped writing a review for a book read. I have stopped reading the books I own in favor of the review copies I do still request (too often for comfort) and receive (just as often). I am not complaining. I loved every minute of it, right up until the point where I no longer do.
The perpetual blogging scandals have, quite frankly, gotten old. I dislike being associated with a community that cries foul loudly over every single “infraction”. In fact, I dislike this whole trend so much I cringe having to write or say the word blog. Frankly, I’m embarrassed to be considered a blogger. There are no rules to this hobby of ours, so why people feel the need to be the blogging police is beyond me. I love my website and I love what I do, but I do not love the blogging community as a whole right now.
Then there is the little issue of censorship. It seems that there are some people from my place of employment who not only read this little website of mine but have taken it upon themselves to complain about some of the things I’ve written to upper management. The last time I checked, there is such a thing as freedom of speech. I have never once published where I work, what we do, or any other identifying features. I may have expressed frustrations about certain situations, but I have never maligned the company. Yet, this is exactly what is being said to upper management. The latest is that I appear unhappy about work in general, and oh, I shouldn’t be allowed to listen to audiobooks at work because it sets a bad example for other employees. Frankly, I am shocked and very upset that someone would take my words out of context and try to get me into trouble – so hurt and upset in fact that I seriously considered quitting. Life, after all, is way too short for this, and if I can’t be myself and share my thoughts and feelings to my friends online, then why do it?
However, I am not going to quit. I am just going to take a few more weeks or so to collect my thoughts, recover from the past few weeks and start fresh. Most of the books I’ve read recently I will never review. I will send my thoughts to the publishers and may post them on Goodreads, but that’s about it. When I come back – and I will come back – hopefully all of this scandal will have blown over, and I will have recovered from my own grief and shock. Right now, I am just so very weary.
So sorry for your loss. Life is definitely too short to stress out over blogging drama (which shouldn’t even be happening). Blogging is supposed to be a fun hobby and that is all. People need to chill out! I can’t believe your co-worker! That totally sucks! And, just take whatever time you need to reflect on things and come back when you want to.
Thanks, Nadia. My coworker situation still upsets me. Heaven help if I ever find out who it is because I will be hard-pressed not to say anything.
Very well said, Michelle! Wonderful.
Sorry to hear about your father-in-law. My condolences to you and your family.
Thanks, Michelle.
I am so sorry for your loss. Hugs to you and Jim and the kids. Added stress from the blogging community and work is the last thing you need. I hope you’re able to find some serenity with a break.
Thanks, Jill! I’m really looking forward to Pet Sematary. Maybe a good horror will put me back into the blogging mood.
I live under a rock. I have no idea what happened in the blogging world other than a few posts that sort of hint around that something happened. I think I like that I have always kept myself on the periphery of everything.
I am very sorry to hear about your father-in-law. I can understand why something like that can put things into perspective as my mother-in-law passed away at the end of last year and that lead me back to blogging and reading. I just found that I wasn’t doing fun things last year and needed to get back to them…
As to your work situation, that’s horrible. I have never seen you say anything that warrants being reported to upper management. You get stressed sometimes, but we all do… Everyone is allowed to vent and it is not like you are being specific. If your co-workers weren’t snooping around no one would even know what you were talking about.
Thanks, Kelly! I really wish I were on the periphery sometimes, especially with this latest scandal. I appreciate your support with the work situation. I am so baffled why anyone would be so particular about getting me into trouble. I just don’t get it.
My heart has been breaking for you. Your family losses, this baloney at work…it makes me hurt inside for you. It’s been said a million times: if blogging isn’t adding something positive to your life, it’s silly to do it. I was always a big fan of blog breaks to rejuvenate. You have no obligations to blog….blogging is for YOU. Screw everything else. Guess what I’m saying is this: you need to take care of YOU. And if you need us to vent with, to plot with, or just scream at the walls with, that’s why we’re here. 🙂 Most of all, I wish you some good peace, quiet, and rejuvenation. Because everything you wrote here is truth.
Thank you so much, Michele. You are definitely one of my favorite go-to people to help keep me sane!
I love this, Michelle. You know how I feel about everything and I think you are absolutely right that our actions and how we make others feel will be what people remember about us. When we think back on this scandal in a year or two’s time, what will we remember from it? That we came together or we splintered apart? That we took opportunities to rip each other apart or worked to resolve things? Great points. <3
Thanks, Becca! It will be interesting to look back and see how the dust settles.
Holy smokes I didnt realize this was all going on. I’m sorry about it. You state yourself so well in your post — your comments are well taken. Blogging is supposed to be a hobby for fun, at least to me; it’s a good idea to take a break if it’s not. I hope you’ll find it fun again and without scandal. I always enjoy your blog and reviews.
Thanks, Susan! It’s been an interesting 2015 so far. That means it can only get better, right?
Death and major illness really do alter your perspective. I’m sorry for your loss and sorry that you’ve had conflict with fellow employees over what you write in your personal space.
Thanks, Nancy! Both were definitely blows.
Seriously. Also coming up for air after a death in the family and this shit DOES NOT MATTER!! It’s blogging. Do with it what you will. Call it what you want. Superwoman, Stepford Wife, whatever. I hear ya. It’s so freakin’ old already.
Amen, Ti! It’s all I can do not to shout from the rooftops that everyone needs to calm the f*#k down and get over themselves.
It really sucks about your co-workers! I always enjoy your posts and your honesty. A break from drama is always a good thing, so enjoy the time away. We’ll all be here when you return! 🙂
Thank you so much, Brandie!
I’m so happy you were able to share your thoughts and feelings here. You are an inspiration to me. I hope your break will help you regroup and return happier. I’m always around to discuss books makeup or teen boys, you know those kids we love but could choke!! xoxo
Thanks, Anita! You know you can’t get rid of me that easily. I’ll be around, of course. Makeup FTW!!
What an unfortunate conglomeration of circumstances. I’m sorry for your loss and your difficult time at work and with you fun time. Hang in there. It’s obvious you take time to do thoughtful book reviews. I’m sure there are many people out there, including myself, who appreciate them.
Thanks, Christine! I really appreciate it!
So sorry to hear about your father-in-law. That is a hard enough thing to deal with emotionally. I’m sorry that you’re having to deal with a tense situation at work through all of this. Take your time to heal.
Thanks, Lisa. It’s one of those times where I just can’t seem to catch a break. I’ll get through it though!
What a lovely post. I’m glad that I’m such a newbie at this that I’ve missed all the drama. I’m a mom of two teenage girls, my life already has enough drama in it 🙂 Have a nice break, and I look forward to your return.
Thanks, Donna! I know exactly what you mean about being the mom of teenagers. Between work and home, I have too much drama in my life as it is. Blogging is supposed to help me with that!!
Sorry to hear about your father-in-law – it’s not surprising that it makes you see things differently. It’s only blogging, people, lighten up – seems to be your mantra right now. Take all the time you need and ponder, adjust, recover.
Thanks, Marina! I now need to find the time to do just that.
Ugh. Its really unfair to have to deal with all of that BS while dealing with grief and loss in your family. I hope a break gives you peace and time to heal. I’ll look forward to your reviews when you’re back.
Thanks, Amanda! This really does mean a lot!
First, I’m so sorry for the loss of your father-in-law. Your thoughts on life as a whole and what our actions say about us and how we will be remembered is something that we lose sight of easily. Thank you for your grounding advice. And ugh–again, I’m so sorry about the work situation. Hope you’re able to find some peace. xo
Thanks, Trish! I’ll be okay. I just need some time. I suspect this has been building for a while – especially since work has not let up one iota since the shit hit the fan last August.
A break is never a bad thing. It’s a chance to reflect and prioritize. We’ll be here.
Thanks, sweetie! I know you all will.
We all need a break now and again. Like Jennifer said, I hope you come back feeling rejuvenated. You know I’m always here for you should you need to vent or just chat.
Thanks, Jenn! I just need to find my energy again. I still want to write. I just don’t want to sit down to write them, and the words are definitely not flowing.
Thank you so much for writing this post. It puts a lot of things into perspective, the least of which is blogging. I hope that over this break you will be refreshed and rejuvenated. You know I’ll be here when you get back and we don’t have to talk about a single thing that robs of us the joy of our hobby.
Thanks, Jennifer! I think this death finally forced me to put into words some of the things I’ve been feeling for a while now.