Title: The Journal of Best Practices: A Memoir of Marriage, Asperger Syndrome, and One Man’s Quest to Be a Better Husband
Author: David Finch
ISBN: 9781439189719
No. of Pages: 224
Genre: Memoir
Synopsis:
“At some point in nearly every marriage, a wife finds herself asking, what is wrong with my husband’s brain?! In David Finch’s case, this turns out to be an apt question. Five years into his marriage, David and his wife Kristen learn that he has Asperger Syndrome, an autism spectrum condition characterized by egocentricity, unusual and sometimes repetitive behaviors, and impaired social reasoning. The diagnosis explains David’s life-long quirks, his difficulty socializing, and his need for things to go according to plan. But it doesn’t make him any easier to live with.
Determined to change that, David embarks on an ambitious journey to understand and rein in the symptoms of the disorder which have wreaked havoc on his marriage. With the analytical fervor typical of an Aspie and with Kristen’s patient help, David compiles a list of best practices—hard-won epiphanies that arise from fights, from self-reflection both comic and painful, and once from watching SportsCenter: “be her friend first and always,” “use words,” “thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s life,” and “laundry: better to fold and put away than to take only what you need from the dryer.” Over the course of two years, the Journal of Best Practices leads David to surprising insights, transforming him into a better husband, father, and all-around better guy… albeit one who sometimes quacks in public.”
Thoughts: Having met David Finch in Detroit last October during the Great Lakes Independent Booksellers Association annual trade show, I discovered first-hand what a genuinely funny person he is. I knew that reading his memoir, The Journal of Best Practices, would be an enjoyable experience. I was prepared for the humor; I was not prepared for the heartfelt honesty and almost heartbreaking determination he shows throughout his journey to overcome his Asperger’s in order to save his marriage. While David explains how difficult simple, everyday situations are for him due to his Asperger’s, the lessons he learns over the eighteen-month experiment are truly lessons for every male.
Any memoir is only as good as the forthrightness of the author. David’s honesty is as refreshing as it is touching to behold. There is no holding back for Mr. Finch. He is surprisingly candid in telling his story; for better or for worse, David tells it like it really was. He does not hide the fact that he was a distant father or selfish husband. A story such as his needs this openness to showcase his struggles and help the reader understand just how remarkable his successes are. Because of his honesty, the reader walks away from his story feeling as if s/he really knows David and feels humbled at being allowed such an intimate look into his life.
Every woman should be so lucky to have a husband like David. Ultimately, his love for Kristin is the driving force behind his need for self-improvement. The fact that he was able to make it so long without a diagnosis of any sort shows that he was able to function in society. He did not have to attempt to this experiment, and yet he jumped into it with as much enthusiasm and excitement as any five-year-old on Christmas morning. Given the divorce rates these days, most people in Kristin and David’s situation would have called it quits. The fact that they did not is testament to their love, and it is beautiful to behold.
Marriage is never easy. Marriage to someone with Asperger Syndrome makes it even more difficult, especially if neither party knows that he has Asperger’s at the beginning of the marriage. What is remarkable is the effort and work both Kristin and David put forth to save their marriage. The Journal of Best Practices is a great example of the dedication and perseverance it requires for a healthy and happy marriage. Better yet, David Finch has made it easy for every husband out there to learn what women truly want!
Acknowledgements: Thank you to the Great Lakes Independent Booksellers Association and David Finch for my review copy!

You are very welcome, Jackie! I think you would definitely enjoy this book. It is so well-written and enlightening.
My mum and son both have Aspergers so I am always keen to read anything I find on the subject. I hadn't heard of this book, but it sounds refreshingly different from the usual books on the subject – I'm going to ensure I read it at some point. Thanks for drawing it to my attention!
My recent post Two Realistic Tales of English Life
It is absolutely fascinating. David has such an amazing story.
I have to admit to a slight fascination with stories about Asperger's. This sounds like a book I would like very much.
My recent post Book Review: Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children
There is a lot to learn. Asperger's is similar to autism, if that helps a bit. I think it is relatively rare for adults to be diagnosed with it. That makes David's willingness to try to overcome the more disruptive behaviors that much more remarkable.
It is a wonderful memoir. It is so refreshing to have someone so brutally honest about his faults, mishaps, and issues. Most memoir writers make excuses for their behavior but not David. What's better is that he is just as honest and funny in real life. What you see on the page is what you get in reali life!
I can see this being tremendously helpful for parents who have kids with Aspergers. I can also see it being helpful for adults struggling to fit into the world. It really does have merit for all walks of life.
I know I'm woefully ignorant of what exactly Asperger's is – I don't think it occurred to me to have adults diagnosed as such but I don't know why it didn't. I would learn a lot from this book, I'm sure.
My recent post New Challenges Page Notice FYI
This just sound fascinating and contains everything I look for in a memoir. It is going on my wish list now. I think that reading a book from a grown-up with Asperger's would be of such value to parents who have kids with Aspergers — I'm sure it would provide such insight!!! Thanks.