Previously posted on The Smartly:
Summer vacation – It is the time of the year every child anticipates with glee. It is also the time when stay-at-home moms feverishly search for games, activities, camps, and other events with which to keep their children busy throughout the summer months. One might think working mothers have it easier this time of year because their children continue to follow the same schedules as they do through the school year – drop the children off at daycare before work and pick the children up from daycare at the end of the work day. What happens, however, when the child gets too old for daycare?
My husband and I are facing this situation right now with my oldest. He just turned ten at the end of May and was already forced to leave one daycare center because their licensing only supported children through the age of ten. We were able to find another daycare center that will watch him during the summer, but unfortunately this new location only supports students through fifth grade. Therefore, as my son enters sixth grade, he has no option for daycare, and we have no family in the area or close friends who could watch him either. By the way, the legal age to be a latch-key kid is 12. Is it me, or is there something majorly wrong with this picture?
Just what is a parent supposed to do when his or her child gets too old for daycare but is not mature or old enough to stay at home alone? No parenting book prepares you for this situation. We are transplants to the area; unlike a large majority of our neighbors…okay, all of our neighbors…we have no family in the area, and all of our friends work during the day as well. We have looked at other daycare providers in the area, of which there are few that support my children’s school district, and all of the others follow the same guidelines. My hands are tied. He is not old enough to stay at home by himself according to state law and not mature enough to do so were he old enough, while I have a job that requires me to be at work before and after school hours. I did negotiate new work hours that would allow me to be home with them before and after school, but in this horrible economy, is that detrimental to my job? I was also able to negotiate all the days off for teacher institute days, early release days and the like? (Spring and winter breaks plus snow days remain an issue.) Could this lack of foresight on the part of daycare centers become a glitch in my career? Shouldn’t the balance between family and career be a little easier to navigate these days?
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My school district definitely does not make it easy for working parents. This has been something we have battled since we moved here though. Practices starting at 5 PM or even 4:30 PM, band concerts starting at 5 PM and the like. It really is as if the school district and supporting activities do think that one parent is at home at all times rather than working. It would be nice to not have to choose between my family or my job, but alas, we do not live in a perfect world. (My perfect world has me making oodles of money writing book reviews and reading all day…)
Wow, that sounds awfully difficult. They really don't make it easy for working parents out there. I guess they figure that if (big if, these days :P) there are two parents they should be able to work it out, but it's not that easy. There needs to be (affordable) options for kids of ALL ages who need supervision! You shouldn't have to choose job or kids, they should work together seamlessly in a perfect world.
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I figure I cannot be the only person, which is why I'm going to work with the PTO and the school board to figure out a solution!
Oh, Michelle….I wish I had a magic answer! On the upside, you have a bit of time to figure it out. Is there a HS kid nearby who could "hang-out" after school? Yikes! There has to be a solution here. You simply cannot be the only person in this boat…
That is a great idea! I'd even welcome after-school activities at this point in time, if only because it means that everything is done by the time we get home. The activities that require us to get home, then rush right out to practices for hours on end after that are huge time sucks. I like your schools' plan, if only because it means that they are accommodating those parents who cannot get off of work early. It make sense. Mine does not.
At our middle schools, there is now a program set up for kids to stay after school, I believe until 5 p.m. It's premise is something to do with being a homework help, but kids can also participate in after school activities and groups and then go to the homework place. I think that's just great because then the kids get to do the activities and they have their homework done when they get home so your time with them is not spent battling homework.
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A service for kids this age would be a godsend! This age is so precarious for kids, and I do find it a travesty that most schools/daycares ignore this age range. I agree that a block mom would also be an agreeable alternative. Anything is better than this.
Torie – We don't have a local Y that supports the school district. I don't know what we are going to do next summer. I'm trying not to think about it too much. It is a huge problem.
When my kids were young (the two oldest still in grade school) and I was a SAHM, a neighbor suggested that I start a service for kids in the same situation as your son. I really thought about it but knew that there was no way I wanted to be responsible for having other people's children in my car before and after school–particularly in winter. But there is a real call for someone to watch kids this age–if for no other reason than that kids in the middle school age range are the most likely to get themselves into trouble when they know no one is watching. If nothing else, if the kids at least had a block mom that they could call if there was any trouble and that would check in on them periodically during the afternoon, that would help.
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