Just call me Ms. Cheerleader! I’ve been cheering on all those who are participating in the Read-a-Thon and having a blast! I wish I was reading with everyone, but as it happens, I had to take a little test today.
Unfortunately, I have to report that I have to take the test over again. I needed 500 points and only got 460 points. The funny thing is that I am not mad. I am embarrassed for others who give me their condolences because I know I do not deserve them. I knew I needed another week of study but unfortunately did not realize it until after the window of opportunity for changing my testing appointment. The testing window is open until Halloween. I’ve already registered again but need to get it approved by the organization and pray that the testing facility still has spots available some time this week. Otherwise, I can not take the test again until January, and I really do not know if I have the motivation to do that. So, wish me luck that I can get another test scheduled this week.
Here’s my dilemma – I made a big deal about undertaking this certification process. My company has paid for the study materials and all of the tests. My boss thoroughly backs me in taking this test and is the type of person who truly believes that you should finish what you started. I respect my boss, and I feel that if I backed down now, it would be a little like disappointing my father. However, I question why I started this process in the first place. The idea was to make me more marketable in the business world and try to set myself apart from the thousands of accountants out there with more experience than me. I always finish what I started, but on this one thing, my will to do so is all but gone. I cannot tell if I feel this way because I am completely burnt out with studying all the time and having these deadlines constantly hanging over me. Would I feel differently if I did not have my blog and was not receiving review copies of books? Would I still want to take the tests? I have no idea anymore. My plan is to try to retake the exam this week, while everything is still fresh in my mind. No matter what happens with the retest, I am definitely taking the entire month of November off. If I pass the second exam this week, I am also taking December off and will reevaluate in January. If I do not pass it, I guess I will cross that bridge if I come to it.
My game plan for this week is to study…after the weekend. I am going to catch up on Google Reader, spend time with my family and lounge around. I am going to continue to study next week, but I am going to continue to stay connected on the Internet. No more blogging bans – it is not worth it in the end because I felt like I was missing a part of me the entire week. I will need spirit fingers and good vibes to help the stars align to let me take the test again some time this week. I will need every good thought to change the one or two I missed so that I can pass this damn thing. And I will need support, advice and a place to help me figure out what I am going to do.