Monday Reflections – 3 December 2018

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Hi guys!

Yes, I am still alive and kicking. Things have been, well, a little weird lately. As those who follow me on Twitter know, I suffer from chronic migraines and have since after Holly was born. I went through all the testing back then, and there was nothing physically wrong with me that would indicate why I suddenly started suffering from them. Fourteen years later, I pretty much know what my triggers are and can usually either keep them at bay or kick them with Excedrin Migraine. However, when one of your triggers is a lack of sleep, and you have been struggling with disrupted sleep and fatigue for over three years, your migraines tend to become more frequent. Also, within the past few months, I noticed a general increase in achiness and muscle pain. My shoulders and neck ALWAYS hurt and have for years, but this time, the pain was spreading to my legs and back, to the point where I did not want to move at times. Imagine the way you feel when you have the flu – the achiness that goes all the way to your bones and causes every movement to hurt. That is how I have been feeling off and on for the past few weeks. I did go to the doctor in the middle of the month and found out that I do have all of the markers of fibromyalgia. Before we go down the road of formally diagnosing me with it, my doctor wants to rule out certain medications and possible sleep apnea. The sleep clinic, of course, has no appointments until February 2019, so it will be a while before I can get any relief. Plus, even though I suspected the results, it has been a shock to adjust to the fact that I most likely have some other chronic condition outside of the migraines. We are also trying something for the migraines which doesn’t appear to be working as the headaches are almost daily now and only vary in severity. The last few weeks in November has not been easy for me mentally and physically as I try to maintain my house but not overdo it and find myself in bed for a day.

In spite of all of this happening the week before Thanksgiving, the holiday itself was a good one. We hosted my sister-in-law and her family for the day. I had everything prepped and ready to go so that all I had to do was pop dishes in the oven and mash potatoes. Connor came home the Monday before the holiday and helped me with cooking, as did Holly when she was home. My in-laws stayed until late evening on Thanksgiving day. Connor had to be back at Ames by Friday evening to play in the pep band for volleyball, and he had a football game on that Saturday. Holly wanted to experience Black Friday, so she convinced her dad to take her and a friend to the mall. They didn’t go until later in the afternoon, so she didn’t get the full experience, but she can now say she went shopping on Black Friday – something I avoid like the plague. The rest of the weekend was quiet as we ate leftovers and relaxed, watched football, and enjoyed the quiet.

Last week, the announcement went out that the owner of my company is selling it to a publicly traded one, effective right after the new year. I have been expecting this announcement for a while, so it was good to get it all out in the open finally. The changes from going to a privately owned company to a public one are going to be exciting and scary. There are very real, legal ramifications if I mess anything up, even accidentally, which is scary as hell. It will be a good challenge though and a good change. I know I am not the only one excited about the sale. It will make December and January even crazier than they usually are, especially as we delayed the budget process until now. There is a lot to do and not a lot of time in which to accomplish it all. As with all sales, the buying company promises they will leave us alone to do our thing, but I have way too much experience with this sort of thing. There will be changes. What those changes are are anyone’s guess. I believe I am safe from the chopping block, but that doesn’t mean that my role is secure or will remain the same. Change is good, but it is nerve-wracking.

So, all of this is why there have been no reviews and very little reading. Either the mind is willing, but the body is not cooperating, the body is willing but the mind is not in the mood, or both the mind and body are ready to go, but there is no time. I remind myself that this annual busy season will pass as it always does, I will find some relief from the pain and flare-ups, and I can maybe get back to feeling like myself again. It will take time, but I will get there. In the meantime, I have you and this site, my reading, my craft projects, my family, my dogs, and my work. Plus, I have decent healthcare, which is more than a lot of people can say. It will all work out in the end. It always does.

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Here are past posts from the last few weeks in case you missed them the first time:

12 Responses to Monday Reflections – 3 December 2018
  1. Jenn Lawrence
    December 3, 2018 | 12:21 PM

    I’ve been thinking of you; I hope you can get some relief soon.

    • Michelle
      December 3, 2018 | 3:17 PM

      Thank you! So far, I have only had one really bad day, and I am managing through it the rest of the days. I don’t know if that is normal, if I have a high pain tolerance, a low pain tolerance, or anything. I guess it is proof that I am still trying to figure this thing out.

  2. Lisa
    December 3, 2018 | 12:22 PM

    I’m so rarely on Twitter these days (and not getting to blogs much either, for that matter) that I had no idea you’d been dealing with all of this. I’m so sorry to hear it. I hope that they can get you a definitive diagnosis and starting getting you the care you need to make life easier.

  3. Brandie
    December 3, 2018 | 12:59 PM

    Michelle, I deleted my Twitter app a long time ago and had no idea how much you’ve been suffering lately. I’m so sorry to hear that, and I wish it wasn’t going to be until February before you see any kind of relief. On top of being so busy at work – I just want to hug you! I hope that in the midst of everything going on you’re able to enjoy the holiday with your family and get a few days to relax. You’re an amazing woman!!

    • Michelle
      December 3, 2018 | 3:33 PM

      Thanks, Brandie! I haven’t talked about it much on Twitter. I have been a bit ashamed because it feels like a silly thing about which to complain, you know?

  4. Ti
    December 3, 2018 | 2:37 PM

    I could have written this post. I have been feeling the same way. I chalked it up to my face plant injury of three years ago but why would I be getting worse? My entire body hurts too. I was diagnosed with lupus for years but never really tested positive for it. Then the docs said fibromyalgia but the markers weren’t all there. All I know is that after a 15 hour day at Disney, I am dead. DEAD. It normally takes me a day to recover but I feel broken.

    • Michelle
      December 3, 2018 | 4:04 PM

      This whole body pain is no joke. What surprises me the most is how much it takes out of you. Concentrating becomes an issue. That has never been a problem for me until the last few months. It is one of the reasons why my reading has tanked a bit (for me at least). It is all I can do to keep it together during work and through dance drop-off and pick-up, and my mind is usually toast after that.

  5. Amanda
    December 3, 2018 | 5:01 PM

    As someone who has all sorts of weird body/sleep issues that no one can figure out, I feel for you!! I hope they find the source and it’s NOT fibro, but if it is, I know you’re strong and you can find ways to cope. *hugs* for the holiday season. Take care of yourself!

    • Michelle
      December 4, 2018 | 2:16 PM

      Thanks, Amanda. I know there are so many people worse off than me or people who have been suffering for years while I have only been truly bad for a few months now. I always feel like my issues pale in comparison because they are so new and relatively insignificant when compared to others.

  6. Jenny @ Reading the End
    December 5, 2018 | 7:28 PM

    I’ve been saying lots of prayers for you, hon, ever since we chatted on Twitter about the fibro. I’m sorry you’re dealing with this, especially in concert with the job stuff. Sending love.

    • Michelle
      December 9, 2018 | 1:50 PM

      Thanks, Jenny! It helps knowing I have such a great support system.

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