When I set upon my word for the year, I knew that becoming WHOLE was not going to be easy. In fact, I knew it would take me almost the entire year to get there, and that is okay. Every conscious decision I make is one step closer to where I want to be. So, just how am I doing on this journey and with the conscious decisions I make?
Grade: F
I am definitely struggling in this journey. I know what I have to do. I know what I should be doing. I just cannot do it. I cannot get off my ass to go for a walk. I consciously make poor food choices. I don’t know what I can tell myself to change this. The intent is there. The desire is there. The execution is not.
As part of the self-reflection portion of this journey, I do recognize that I do not do well without a schedule or when my schedule is severely disrupted. All of these weekends where I was gone, all of the week nights I spent at the studio or at track practice instead of at home catching up on what I missed getting done during the weekends have really put me off my stride. I have struggled since the beginning of April to catch up on paperwork, online work, chores, errands, etc. I am exhausted, stressed, and just hoping to stay sane through the end of the dance season on July 1st.
Still, this is NO excuse. There are things I could be doing and should be doing but choose not to. I know this. I am frustrated by it but obviously not frustrated enough to change the decisions I make. I know Jim is frustrated. The kids are frustrated. I know I am letting them down as well as letting myself down. And yet…when it comes time to make those decisions, I don’t care.
So, that is where I am. I read all of this stuff about taking it one meal at a time, one minute at a time. I read articles that are supposed to help motivate me every single day, but their inspiration does not stick. I have not found that one thing that does. I am not certain what, if anything, will.
I am frustrated but I haven’t given up entirely. As we reach the end of the school year and the weekend and weeknight obligations come to an end, I should be in a better state of mind. Plus, I know all it takes is one good choice at a time. So, if I can do it one day at a time, one choice at a time, I am making progress. I will make progress. I will do this.
How did you do last month?

As part of my word of the year, “happier,” part of the goal was to walk more, eat less, eat healthier – yeah, that’s not happening. And I’m nowhere near as busy as you are. I’m thinking this week I try to make one change. Just one. No excuses. But it’s so hard to make major changes, isn’t it?
I have been trying to make one good choice a day – consciously choosing the healthy thing over the thing I want. I don’t know if it helps, but it has been making me feel like I can do this. One choice at a time.
Making changes is hard and that you want to and keep trying says a lot. Don’t give up! You can do it!
Thanks, Stefanie!
I’m sorry things aren’t going how you planned. It’s hard to get into a routine and stick with it, especially when you’re as busy as you are! Maybe now that school is out and activities are slowing down for a bit, you can find the time and motivation. It’s hard to be motivated when feeling overwhelmed.
I am hoping. I am so overwhelmed with everything, but I also know I would feel better with some sort of daily movement. I just need a good week where things are not crazy either at work or at home.
I’m not doing well with my one word, reinvigorate, either, so sadly I hear you. I especially can relate to knowing what I should do, but then doing it is a whole other thing. Like you, I also know it can be done a little at a time and not all in one shot, so thanks for the inspiration and hopefully by the end of June, we’ll both be able to give ourselves a better grade, maybe even a C. 🙂
Hopefully!